I believe in myself.
When I was a sophomore in college, I realized I wanted to be a nurse in the military. I had just gotten back from a medical clinic in Honduras and felt inspired—I wanted to travel and help others while doing it. I knew nothing about the military, but when I Googled “traveling nursing jobs,” the first thing that came up was the Air Force.
Long story short, my Air Force recruitment meeting was a big fail. They told me my weight was a huge issue. I was 5’6” and weighed about 225 pounds. While I carried my weight well, I was too hefty by military standards. I left in tears, feeling absolutely defeated and terrible about myself. After that visit, I wanted to give up on the idea altogether, but that’s when I found Army ROTC. I found the contact information for the Penn State office and scheduled an appointment to meet with one of the advisors.
I was more determined walking into that meeting. I thought, “They have to see I really want this and am willing to do whatever it takes. I have to make them take me seriously.” While they were unsure how I would do, they couldn’t really say no. I would enlist in the classes, get the equipment, show up to physical training in the morning and that would be that. They’d see how I did on my first physical test and we’d go from there.
I scored a 25 out of a possible 300 points on my first physical test. People asked why I even showed up to training the next day. I knew I had a lot of work to do, but I was determined to do it. I woke up before the crack of dawn four times a week for runs, walks wearing a heavy backpack and stair workouts. The rest of the day I spent cramming my mind with army jargon and hand and arm signals, all while balancing 18 to 20 credits, nursing clinicals and extracurriculars. I was exhausted, but my improvement was undeniable. My physical test score rose to 150 points, only 30 points away from passing.
I didn’t slow down over the summer. Balancing two summer classes, a full-time nursing assistant job and working out harder than I ever had before, I watched my weight drop to 175 pounds—a passing standard for my age and height. By the end of the fall semester, I passed my physical test with a score of 205. I also secured a 2-year, fully paid scholarship, an 8-year contract with the army, and a summer internship in California with the Army Nurse Corps. I had done it, and I had never felt so proud.
I believe in myself because I am stronger than any obstacle that comes my way. I believe in myself because I ignored the whispers of “Cadet Fenstermacher will never make it.” I believe in myself because the day I take my commission as a Second Lieutenant in the Army Nurse Corps, I’ll be able to look everyone in the eye who thought I couldn’t do it and say, “Well, I did.”
Alexis Fenstermacher is a junior at Penn State majoring in nursing.
