The holidays can amplify feelings of grief over the loss of a loved one.
We can be really hard on ourselves when dealing with grief — thinking about what we “should” or “should not” feel, instead of what we’re actually experiencing. That’s according to Dr. Katie Kostohryz, a licensed professional counselor and associate teaching professor at Penn State. She said not understanding our own needs or not communicating those needs to loved ones can often cause tension and conflict.
“Grief is very complex and so a family that is experiencing the same loss, each of those individual members may need something different around the holidays.,” Kostohryz said.
Kostohryz said it’s important while grieving to make sure your basic needs are met, especially during the holidays. She suggested getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, being active, getting outside and feeling the sun.
“How do we stay well in grief is doing the things that we’ve done before when times have been tough, in grief and non grief. It’s remembering what has helped you in difficult times,” Kostohryz said.
Kostohryz said you should check in on loved ones who are grieving, as uncomfortable as that may feel for you.
“And it’s ok if you don’t know what to say or what to do, but not reaching out can be, challenging, because support systems in grief is huge,” Kostohryz said.
Koch Funeral Home has an upcoming educational support group for those grieving a death.