One of the many parts of our lives the COVID-19 pandemic has changed for almost two years now is dating. Anyone who’s trying to meet someone has had to make important decisions early on: whether they’ll see each other in person or only online, and what safety protocols they’ll follow. And the rules have changed from not talking politics on the first date, to hashing through the highly politicized topics of masking and vaccination before ever meeting in person.
Noi Maeshige and Tyler Hepler met in person in August 2020 through the musical theatre program at Penn State. The program is a small, tight-knit group. They began dating in September when positive COVID tests at Penn State were at an all-time high. Maeshige said they sat down and agreed very early on what COVID protocols they would follow.
“We’re not going to parties," Maeshige said. "We’re gonna follow the rules of 2 to 3 times a week of testing. And we’re probably not going to a restaurant for a while.”
Maeshige and Hepler had to make decisions quickly about their lifestyles and social life. And Hepler said it wasn’t just them making the decisions. Both of their friend groups got a say, too.
“We knew that we liked Noi, as a collective, not just me, so she was added to our bubble,” Hepler said.
Both knew following COVID safety protocols was important to them. They agree that communication was absolutely necessary during the pandemic. Hepler said they saw other couples struggle to navigate COVID dating rules.
“I don’t think it has affected our relationship very much because we have not really broken each other’s trust,” Hepler said.
They say establishing this trust at the beginning of their relationship, made future relationship obstacles easier.
At first, Maeshige and Hepler decided to limit their time out in public. But after both getting the vaccine, they had their first restaurant date for Maeshige’s birthday this past August. They’d been dating for almost a year by then.
Bryce Eberly and Ryan Kulka started dating in the Fall of 2019, right before the COVID-19 pandemic hit. After three months of dating, they were sent home. Kulka went back to Edinboro, Pennsylvania and Eberly to Lebanon, Pennsylvania – five hours apart. What they thought would be a week apart, ended up being eight months. While apart, they were constantly doing “Zoom dates.”
Both explained what those entailed: “House hunting -- we love looking at Zillow. We have a list now. We would play games online. We would watch YouTube videos. We would do whatever. Car shopping. It was a fun virtual best friend that I could come home and hang out with when that like wasn’t allowed.”
But they say this time was difficult as well. And once they were back in person, Kulka said it caused a strange shift in their relationship.
“It was a weird adjustment. Which sounds weird but, it was really hard to go from being virtual boyfriends to being together in person,” Kulka said.
Eberly said it was as if they were getting to know each other all over again.
“We kind of both saw how each other just like lived. There were some little quirks we didn’t know about each other,” Eberly said.
They even both got COVID and quarantined together for 10 days. They fought over the temperature of the dishwater and what movies they would watch. Now, after two years of dating, Eberly said navigating the pandemic has made their relationship stronger.
“Dating through COVID was really a testament of each other’s love for each other,” Eberly said.
Jenna Beberman said she was ready to jump into the world of dating when she started her freshman year at Penn State in fall of 2020. She knew as a young, healthy person she was less in danger of COVID-19 complications. This caused a dilemma: she wanted to date, but it felt wrong to her at first.
“It seems like being a kid, or being a teenager, or young adult, it seems very invincible,” Beberman said.
Eventually she decided to try out dating apps. A lot of her friends were using them, too.
Beberman said it’s helpful that apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge now show vaccination status on the profiles of prospective matches. She said being unvaccinated is a dealbreaker for her.
“I personally wouldn’t date anyone who wasn’t vaccinated. I wouldn’t be interested in someone that’s not cautious or someone that doesn’t understand the gravity of that. It is a big deal," Beberman said.
There were certain negative aspects of dating during COVID that she had never imagined before. On some of her dates, she couldn’t even see the person’s face because they were wearing a mask.
Beberman said dating during COVID took a lot more effort. But on the positive side, she felt like people were looking for more serious relationships than before.
“I think people spending a lot of time alone, were able to do some soul searching and discovery within themselves about what they want moving forward,” Beberman said.
Now that most businesses have reopened, Beberman said she’s excited to finally have dates that feel normal and maybe even bring someone to a concert. Dating during a pandemic hasn’t been ideal, but she said the experience gave her the confidence she needs to keep trying to find her match.