MADELEINE BRAND, host:
Asthma is a chronic disease that often requires daily medical treatment, which, as with any chronic illness, can be a chore. Writer Marcos McPeek Villatoro understands what it's like to feel that burden and to get over it.
Mr. MARCOS McPEEK VILLATORO (Essayist): This past year I was diagnosed with manic depression. I'm much better now, in great part because of my family and a strong network of friends. But I must not forget to mention those new buddies of mine, meds. I now swallow seven to 10 pills a day, depending upon the lithium levels in my blood and my sleep patterns. I went from being a guy who popped an aspirin every blue moon for a pulled muscle to carrying around a well-stocked little gray pillbox.
When I first started taking the medicines I felt like a failure, a wimp, a looser who couldn't make it through the world without the crutch of pharmaceuticals. But Raoul helped set me straight. He runs a pawnshop in my neighborhood. I've not bought much there but it's always fun to pop in and talk with Raoul, watch how he makes deals and sells used lawn mowers, beat up guitars and old car radios. He's a nice guy, good looking with thick black hair and mustache. No doubt burly in his youth. Still, you can tell by the labored way he walks that he suffers from something.
We drank coffee together one afternoon. He asked how I was doing. I filled him in on my sickness and he was very compassionate. I'm really sorry you're suffering from that, he said. And I could see in his brown eyes that he really understood. I chuckled low, referring to the pain in the butt seven pills a day diet. And then I noticed it. For all the time he and I had been talking, Raoul had not moved in his chair, not once. He couldn't move his legs.
Oh, it happens sometimes, he said. The Parkinson's, you know. He thought he needed to have his meds adjusted. They weren't kicking in as they should. I asked how medication he had to take. Five at breakfast, five at lunch, dinner, five. Early in the morning got to take three of another. Of course, can't take it on an empty stomach. But can't take it with protein, either.
By the time Raoul had finished, I counted about two dozen pills a day.
Now, I'm not one who likes to compare lives, to say if you're feeling bad, just remember others have it worse. I think that's faulty philosophy. But here was Raoul, another man like myself who relied on pills to make it through each day, and who lived each day ready and happy to do business with another customer.
I don't complain about taking all my pills anymore. They help me negotiate with each day. And I love the business of living.
BRAND: Marcos McPeek Villatoro is a writer living in Van Nuys, California. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.